Elvis, Michael Jackson, and Sarah Palin

I was never an Elvis fan as a kid. In my world you either grew up with the Beatles or with Elvis but never both.

I missed any of the “good” Elvis years. I was born in 1969 so by the time I aware of him he had turned from the young, edgier, star to an older, bloated, caricature. He shook hands with Richard Nixon while professing his anti-hippie views. What’s not to dislike?

Looking back historically it became clear to me that in his prime Elvis was the real deal. Elvis had a much richer voice than any of the Beatles. Elvis’ music was just as catchy. Many artists whom I love were greatly influenced by Elvis, from Jim Morrison to Thin Lizzy to U2.

But Elvis had some bad advisers, Colonel Tom Parker being the worst. He isolated the young artist, turned him toward some bad decisions and away from some opportunities. That and Col. Parker dealt himself 50% of the profits from any Elvis venture.

While it may have been clear that Elvis wasn’t comfortable telling his management “no,” a lot of people seemed unable or unwilling to tell Elvis “no,” most tragically his doctors. He was over-prescribed many drugs. Clearly his death was hastened by his prescription drug abuse. I’m sure he didn’t think he had a drug problem, since the drugs were given to him by doctors. He wasn’t scoring drugs like some dirty hippie, right?

Elvis: dead on the toilet. An inglorious end to be sure.

I was never a Michael Jackson fan either.

Had I been exposed to more Motown records as a kid, I might have been a fan of Michael Jackson from his Jackson Five days. Not so much. Of course I had heard plenty of Jackson Five songs (like I had heard lots of Elvis songs) but I wouldn’t have went out and bought any of their albums.

Off the Wall came out in 1979. By that time I was a rabid KISS fan and wanted nothing to do with dance music. 1979 was all about the FM soundtrack (great, great collection of songs there, worthy of a blog post of its own), or even the Grease soundtrack, but Michael Jackson might has well have been a Gibb brother. No thanks.

So when Thriller came out, there was just no way. A ton of #1 songs is hard to argue with, but c’mon… (or “sham-on”-on, or “mama-se, mama-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa”-on) dance music is dance music. I might tap my toes to it but I’d sooner buy a Madonna album (yick).

So while Michael Jackson was clearly talented and very influential, I didn’t fully appreciate him as an artist. I might not even now but I won’t rule out feeling kinder about the music as I age, if only for nostalgia.

Like Elvis, Michael Jackson also had bad advisers, first and foremost his father, Joe Jackson. It seems unquestionable that Michael’s strange adulthood was the result of an abusive childhood. But there were more bad advisors including lots and lots of folks who were attracted to Mr. Jackson because of his money and in spite of his just plain weirdness.

If you are rich enough you can buy yourself a chimp (against better judgment) but for the love of Dog somebody should have said “no’ to his inviting children for sleepovers. No, stop, wait a minute partner, whoa hold up there little buckaroo – whatever verbiage conveyed the message most effectively.

Like Elvis, he had plenty of doctors who wouldn’t refuse his request for dangerous prescription drug and, like Elvis, prescription drug abuse contributed to his untimely death.

The similarities between Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley seem clear but why, you might ask, am I grouping my Govenor, Sarah “Skinny G” Palin with them?

Skinny G (or as she will now be known on this blog “Skinny GOA”) shared a lot of traits with The King and The King of Pop.

All three were talented, all three were lucky, all three were ambitious, all three are American icons beloved by zealous fans, and all three had some of their wackiest ideas validated by sycophants who had little regard for the health and wellbeing of their employers/colleagues.

Skinny GOA has been something of a giant-slayer for most of her political career. She beat incumbents to win the office of Mayor of Wasilla. The Republican Party old boy network didn’t like her but she still won the office of Governor of Alaska. She was the ultimate underdog. You had to love her.

Well, you might not have but I certainly did. I never had a pair of blue suede shoes or a red leather jacket with lots of zippers but I jumped on the Palin bus. Heck, I ran to catch it.

She was a true-believer and although I didn’t share either her religious or most of her conservative political beliefs, I loved her go-getter spirit and I figured that as Governor she wouldn’t be able to actually do any damage to our civil liberties. Alaska is a red state but we do things our own way. We have no problem telling our government that they are full of crap whether it’s because they are leaning too far left or right.

Then a curious thing happened. John McCain tapped her as his Vice Presidential pick for the 2008 Presidential election.

Skinny GOA had previously done things her way, following her beliefs, and ignoring any discouraging words. This had worked for her. She probably thought her string of political good luck was not just incredible but actually God’s will.

I don’t know this to be true but it’s the only explanation I can come up with for what has followed the 2008 election loss. She didn’t go home and quietly regroup. She didn’t return to Alaska to focus on serving out her gubernatorial term.

Skinny GOA had become a national celebrity and it seems there wasn’t a camera she didn’t want to stand in front of or a microphone she didn’t want to speak into. From People to Runner’s World, she was a magazine icon. She was one of Time magazine’s “100 Most Influential People.” She flew away to attend lavish parties and give speeches and stump for other Republicans.

And since it has become clear that she would have had a tough fight for reelection she has decided to resign her office a year and a half before the end of her first term. Why? She claims she is doing Alaska a favor by not being a lame duck and that she has a higher calling.

This scares me. If she is really as unswerving in her beliefs as it appears, especially in her belief that she is always right, she’s only going to listen to people who agree with her.

Skinny GOA, I know you don’t take advice from bloggers and you’ve never taken advice from me personally (although she has stopped wearing Bono sunglasses in photos) but please, please use this new opportunity. You already have a book contract due, just take some time to lay low and reflect.

I know you don’t believe the media who berate you (and they have mercilessly) but don’t believe all the cheerleaders either.

Not everyone who agrees with you is your friend. Good fortune is not an endorsement from God that you have been chosen for some special mission. Having a higher profile doesn’t make you right, it just makes you louder.

Fame and not being told “no” killed Elvis and Michael Jackson.

It is my sincere wish that Sarah Palin’s post-gubernatorial life is long and happy and healthy.

I also hope she receives, and more importantly takes, better advice than the other mavericky icons before her.

Thank You Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich

For making our Governor, Sarah “Skinny G” Palin, look like a lily-white rocket scientist.

Keep up the newsworthy behavior.

Love and Kisses,

The People of Alaska

p.s. to Skinny G: don’t get any ideas.

Skinny G needs a vacation

By now you’ve seen it.

By it I mean my Governor, Sarah “Skinny G” Palin, giving an interview to KTUU in front of a guy slaughtering turkeys. If you didn’t here it is:

This whole mess started out fine enough. She’s a former small-town Mayor who is currently a small-state Governor who likes to do folksy small-town stuff like doing a photo-op pardoning a small-town turkey before Thanksgiving.

It’s an odd tradition but it’s quaint. It’s cute. It’s even symbolically humane.

Then it started to turn odd. She made it clear that just one turkey would be pardoned and that the rest were good eatin’. Fair enough. She’s a hunter, she’s probably even a scavenger, and she’s a politician so she’s naturally inclined to give with one hand and take with the other. Again, odd but almost cute.

Then she gives the post-pardon interview. And you either knew what you were seeing in the background or you weren’t sure at first. But yes, as a matter of fact, it was a guy in blood-stained Carhartts putting a turkey upside down into a funnel thing then cutting off its head and letting the blood drain into a trough. And then a second turkey.

Gore times 2. (Something of a Republican nightmare pun, that)

All the while she’s talking about the Presidential campaign and saying really ironic things, given the slaughter in the background

“.. it’s pretty brutal…”

Then during the death-throws of the second turkey

“… Oooh, this was, this was neat. I was happy to get invited to participate in this, for one you need a little levity in this job… it’s just nice to participate in something to promote a local business and that’s not so heavy handed politics that invites criticism. Certainly we’ll invite criticism doin’ this too but at least this was fun…”

When asked what she was cooking for Thanksgiving

“I’ll be in charge of the turkey. Yeah, my sisters and my mom will be bringin’ everything else but I’m always in charge of the turkey…”

Then, as God is my witness and please re-wind and look at it again if you have to, she gives a crazed stand-up comedian look and then finishes

“so I’m where I need to be today.”

Actually I think Skinny G needs to do the traditional Alaskan holiday thing and be in Hawaii. And not Oahu but on a tiny island far away from TV cameras and reporters.

We’ll be okay. She was gone for a month or so and we did fine. She’s had a very full summer / fall (well both “autumn” and “fall” as it turns out) and she needs some alone time.

Please Skinny G.

For yourself, for us, for America, and for The Iraq – take a vacation. We’ll all still be here when you get back.

And bring back some chocolate-covered macadamia nuts, Alaskans love those things.

A little light humor

I apologize for not knowing the original source. I’ll give credit when I find it.

Heckler – the documentary

I watched the movie Heckler over the weekend and it has stuck with me.

Jamie Kennedy, stand-up comic and actor, interviews fellow performers, critics, and hecklers about the ugly act of heckling.

I don’t drink and I don’t want attention directed toward me in public so I can’t imagine yelling “you suck” at a comedy show. It’s just rude.

But there’s the other side of heckling which I found thought provoking.

Blogs and bloggers.

The magic of a blog is that anyone can be a critic.

The evil of a blog is that anyone can be a critic.

This includes me.

It’s easy to forget that people, including celebrities, have feelings.

Have I ever wronged someone purposely on this blog? Maybe.

Looking back I did refer to Vincent Gallo’s movie The Brown Bunny as the “worst movie ever made” and a “corn-studded turd of a movie.” I stand behind that assessment. I explained it and I didn’t say anything about Gallo’s worth as a human being so that’s nice.

But it’s easy to get into the habit of crapping all over someone you don’t know.

So new rule: I’m going to reserve the right to criticize but will attempt to be constructive or at least not abusive.

For instance – Senator Ted Stevens. Uncle Ted. He’s done many good things for this state. He’s probably a nice man. He is, however, a convicted felon and should resign from office if he has the fortune of being re-elected next week.

Then Sarah “Skinny G” Palin can appoint herself as the replacement Senator and continue on her national political career. It’d be a win-win.

Voters: Alaska Needs Sarah Back!

Sarah “Skinny G” Palin has created quite the media storm with her background, level of experience, and governing style. I know I just posted that there was nothing left to say about her but whether you like her or not, I want to make this simple plea:

DO NOT VOTE HER INTO FEDERAL OFFICE

The reason is simple.

She is the best Alaska has to offer and we cannot afford to let her go.

Her track record speaks for itself:

1. She’s a maverick who took on her own party and won the governorship based on her high level of ethics. While in office she has broken no ethics laws (rules violations, schmules violations, no laws were broken). See: Investigator: Palin abused power, Anchorage Daily News

2. She’s a master of foreign relations: Alaska has remained free from Russian attack for her entire administration, ostensibly because Vladimir Putin is afraid of rearing his head toward her.

3. Her husband is an influential member of an Alaskan Native tribe so this keeps her in the know on the special issues of Alaskan natives because (according to http://www.johnmccain.com/about/governorpalin.htm ) “Through Todd’s Yup’ik grandmother, Alaska’s Native heritage plays an important role in their family.” If she becomes vice president then there will be no Alaskan Native voice in the Governor’s mansion. See: Natives Claim Palin neglects issues, Anchorage Daily News

4. Also from johnmccain.com, “As the mother of a special-needs child, Governor Palin has pledged to all those families with special-needs children to be their advocate in the White House.” She already has a proven record of championing the cause of special-needs children in Alaska (if by championing you mean she has cut budgets of state agencies which help special-needs kids. Can’t very well coddle them, right?)

5. As Governor, her entire family has dedicated their time to conducting state business. This work by her husband and children was all done for free (except travel expenses which the state paid for) see: Palin office defends charging state for children’s travel, Anchorage Daily News

She’s young, she has vast executive experience (just ask her, she’ll tell you), she just started that 40 Billion Dollar pipeline project thing. It’s clear that we still need her.

Please don’t take her away from us!!

Blabbity Blabbity Blog

I haven’t kept up with blog posts lately. Partly it’s because everything I would windge about is sort of off limits.

I can’t post about most work stuff because it’s way too easy to figure out who I am with just my first name and my job title. Plus I’d never have anything bad to say about work because that would be wrong.

I can’t post about Sarah “Skinny G” Palin because I don’t really have anything to add to the conversation. It’s all been said. Good, bad, true, false. Criticizing her further would be like kicking a puppy. Oh yeah, and I’ll never vote for her again. I’ve been disillusioned. At this point I feel sorry for her kids.

I’m going to Atlanta in November for the National Crisis Intervention Team Conference. It should be fun but it sucks that I can’t get any more time off so Kelli and I could make a vacation out of it. I like going to new places but I’m not exactly thrilled by the idea of flying for an entire day each way. Life in Alaska I guess.

Could be worse. I could live in Wasilla.

I’m not hopeful about the economy.

On one hand I’m something of a Socialist. I love the idea of nationalized healthcare and free education and food/shelter/jobs for the hungry/homeless/unemployed. In the UK they get taxed up the wazoo but they have excellent health care. Best I can tell they have decent roads and schools too. There are advantages.

On the other hand I’m cool with capitalism. Big governments have big bureaucracy and therefore big problems. Individual entrepreneurs are the backbone of our country. By the same token the banks and mortgage companies and large corporations involved in the whole mortgage-backed securities and commercial dept obligation nightmare can choke on their own vomit.

This bailout plan, while keeping us afloat (which is a good idea,) rewards these same banks and big corporations who screwed everything up. It’s socialism for rich folks and free market capitalism for poor folks. That doesn’t seem fair.

I’m not hopeful about the situation in the Iraq or the Afghanistan or the Pakistan or the Russia or the Georgia or the Ukraine.

How can we get all up in Russia’s grill for invading Georgia, a sovereign nation, when the USA invaded Iraq, also a sovereign nation?

Who would have thought that 20 years after the end of the cold war we’d be the biggest debtor state and have a bad reputation in a lot of the world and Russia would be rich and cocky?

Outrageous (and not in a good way)

I’m not even talking about the 700+ Billion Dollar bailout of very private enterprises with very public monies. Although that’s so outrageous I can’t even blog about it right now.

I’m talking about the political rhetoric these days. For instance:

1) Florida Rep. Alcee Hastings on Wednesday warned two minority groups to beware of Sarah Palin because “anybody toting guns and stripping moose don’t care too much about what they do with Jews and blacks.” (FoxNews)

What? Firstly, moose is kosher (albeit not without the proper slaughtering techniques and supervision). I’m not Jewish but I’m pretty sure the Jews and the moose have a reasonably decent relationship. I can’t find any evidence of blacks having moose difficulties either.

Leave the moose out of it Representative Hastings. Dumbass. *

2) During Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sara “Skinny G” Palin’s interview with Charlie Gibson “Gibson alluded to McCain’s recent statement that Alaska’s proximity to Russia lent Palin some expertise on that nation, asking Palin to explain.

’They’re our next-door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska — from an island in Alaska,’” (LA Times)

Stop it. Here’s a map.

Here’s the Wikipedia entry. Nothing of significance is on either Little Diomede (USA, population 144) or Big Diomede (Russia, population ZERO). The only time Russian forces will storm across the Bering Strait from Kamchatka to Alaska is when you play RISK.

The distance between Magadan, Russia (the most significant city in Siberia and Anchorage’s Sister City) and Anchorage, Alaska is 1,958 miles (roughly calculated with Google Earth). Moscow to Juneau is 4,533 miles.

We are close to Russia like we are close to Japan, Korea, China, etc. In fact Wasilla, Alaska, to Singapore, China, is 4311 miles.

So except for wanting our natural gas pipeline to go through Canada, she has no experience with any foreign relations. To imply otherwise is disingenuous at best.

3) The Obama campaign ran an ad saying McCain is so out of touch technologically that he doesn’t even use the internet or send email.

Who the falafel cares?

Apparently, due to his POW related injuries, he gets shoulder aches when he uses a keyboard or does other repetitive tasks so he relies on his wife or his staff to do these things.

What President is sending his own emails anyway? Do you think George Bush types “OMG we need 700 Brazillian dollars? What’s the exchange rate anyway on those – LOL !”

Your staff does that sort of thing, that’s why you have them.

4) I want to give Skinny G’s folks the benefit of the doubt but they come off as aloof and inept. She won’t answer questions including whether she supports Don Young or Ted Stevens. (Politico)

From this Alaskan’s point of view she should have a public opinion on that. Either she’s a loyal Republican supporting two senior statesmen despite current controversy or she’s a maverick standing against her party for the good of Alaska. She has to pick a side on this.

She also won’t let her staff or her husband comply with subpoenas or aid the investigation surrounding a simple personnel issue. This begs the question why won’t she just say, look, here’s the deal” and get it over with.

~~

It’s clear we have a lot at stake with this election. So let’s cut the crap and make the candidates talk about real issues in a clear and calm way.

Is that too much to ask?

* This reminds me of Blood On The Snow, a true moose story. I crack myself up.

Photos:
Russia Alaska Map
Risk

Please Don’t Lash Me, Skinny G

Fun is fun but you’ll not hear any serious criticism of Skinny G from me.

This is due to either

a) there is nothing negative or even mockable about the lovely and capable Mrs Palin

or

b) according to the New York Times her staff has contacted at least one local blogger to tell them to “Stop blogging right now!.” Read it here (and I didn’t make up the headline)

Once Elected, Palin Hired Friends and Lashed Foes

I really don’t care to write a political blog anyway but even if I had such an urge I’m not nearly anonymous enough to take on the possible future President of the United States (who are we kidding anyway?)

My readership is probably 25 regular readers (thank you all) but I sort of know people who know people and therefore I’d be on a tight leash if I crossed any real lines. I’m not going to put my employment at stake, thank you very much.

So no more Skinny G talk.

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, however, are HILARIOUS!

Skinny G for VP… for real !

Thanks to Jen for asking about my view on the whole deal. Here it is:

Why, oh why, did John McCain pick Sarah Palin as his running mate?
It just makes no sense.

Sarah “Skinny White Chocolate Latte Gets It All Over Town” Palin (aka “Skinny G”) a year ago was the queen of the world. She was elected because she was by far the most ethical candidate running for governor.

I even talked about her as a possible VP choice January 3rd of this year. Actually here’s my whole Skinny G file (clickity doo) If it do say so myself some of the posts are pretty funny (even if you just look at the pictures).

Yet lately she’s been tarnished by two really stupid moves on her part:

1) She allegedly used her influence to get her ex-brother in law fired from his job as a state trooper. When that didn’t work she fired the commissioner of public safety, citing no real reason initially.

Her brother in law is likely a scumbag and there’s no secret Sarah and her husband Todd (who really needs to get a hobby and keep himself out of actual government business – he’s no Hilary Clinton that one) most definitely and admittedly did their best to get the guy fired. That shows great support of her sister but not all that good judgment as governor.

2) A few days before the election this week she “took off her governor hat” and endorsed voting against a proposition which was pro-clean water but anti-mining (or actually anti one proposed mine in particular). This might have actually violated the law. You can’t take off your “governor hat” and you can’t endorse any propositions as governor. The are laws about this sort of thing.

These are small beans compared to “Uncle Ted” Stevens who was just indicted on corruption charges involving receiving lavish gifts from oil service companies and not reporting them as contributions.

Then there is Representative Don Young who has spent nearly a million dollars on legal fees in anticipation of corruption charges of his own. He might not have even won his primary race this week (too close to call). Although I try not to speak ill of Don Young because he’ll bite me like a mink.

I voted for Sarah Palin for governor. I tend to like her even though I’m not a Republican. But why would McCain pick a running mate with way less experience than Obama who has current troubles of her own? What is the McCain vetting process?

If Obama is not our next President then it’ll be final: Americans are idiots.

It’s your choice folks.